Why We're So Strong

Suddenly, we realized how bored we were with atrophy. The depths had been surveyed. We had scaled that mountain. Also, then, we realized that we were tired of boredom. And this whole dismissive attitude we acquired. And the artifice of fatigue. Frailty, in general. Also, uncooked food.

So when we found the rodent and took off our shirts, for example, you couldn't say that we were reacting appropriately to the exposed skeleton and its minor scent. Eyeless sockets. This called for a response, obviously, but we weren't ready to make concessions. Instead, we paraded around with our muscles exposed, running into the garage door, banging on the aluminum with big sticks and, also, maybe, our penises.

The appalled, slender gaze we take at sex. We touch each other. We inflict narratives on each other. We become part of each other's narrative. I meet you at school and we have sex in the bathroom, then I go study economics and you go outside to teach calculus and I feel bad that we had to ever stop.

It was about mystery and mystery is about potentials and potentials do not succumb to decay. Mystery prevented us from shaving off our nipples in a confused stupor. Mystery was the steadying force in our hands when we began to pet everything, when we craved kittens, when we bought things for a cat that we did not own or know. To eat the rats.

Also, sometimes, on Saturdays, we would go out to the garage and stare at the rat as its fur shuffed off in heavy clumps. We would rub our asses together, frantically, running into the wall, shattering glass, releasing ants from jars.

One day, we agreed to stop meeting at the ice cream shop and exchanging hand jobs in the freezer before going to baseball practice, so that we would become immortal. We were confused. We didn't understand any standing order, which we called nature. There was no time to worry why this was happening. I'm sorry. We needed to transfer information, for us. Please. We don't understand. I don't understand. But it will be just alright. Until terrible things start happening again. And then it will be time to go to bed and it won't matter as much.

By Gerard Olson
Photos by Daiana Feuer